Radovan
Radovan has lived with me for nine years, yet in a world that is probably quite different from mine. Radovan is an autistic man.
Radovan was born eight years ago in Benešov near Prague with a knot on the umbilical cord. At that time, his sister Miriam was only 1 year and 1 month old. Radovan's mother was almost 40 and Radovan was her fourth child. From the beginning it was not easy with Radovan. He often cried after nights and didn't sleep much. This “wonderful” feature, insomnia, remained for many years. He and his nurse used to go to bed around eight o'clock. At six months, the first vaccine went after a few weeks. Rada collapsed, stopped breathing and was taken to the hospital by an ambulance. I was there with him. Radovan received powerful antibiotics, some of whom he was sick. After a week he was released home, followed by a third vaccine. I wondered what Radovan felt. Judging by his eyes, I would say the following: Doesn't the doctor know I don't want it? But then I thought that sometimes we have to do the things we don't want. And then I made sure that the doctor certainly knew best what she was doing. At the age of two, Radovan was vaccinated again. At that time, he protested so hard that the doctor stabbed herself. However, the protests did not help - my wife and I trusted medicine and Radovan got his last vaccine. From this day on, his world began to move away from mine.
At that time, Radovan was losing interest in toys and things around him. After the vaccination, he even stopped being interested in all the words, he began to stagger, losing his orientation. His eyes looked sad, his gaze absent. I felt like she was getting lost somewhere, I just didn't understand where…
When he's awake, he needs constant adult attention. He often shows me how to do hu-hu, how to run, jump, jump, gesture, shout, and pound more and more of everything that makes sounds, especially the windows and doors. When he is thirsty or hungry, he pulls me or another adult's hand to the pantry or fridge. He only eats what he likes and eats it only with his hands. He runs away from the table every now and then. Unknown food does not eat. He only drinks from a baby bottle. When he drinks, he drops the bottle where he is. For some time I have not given Radovan chocolate and sweet pribináče, not even any milk or rolls, because he does not do well. She eats a lot of vegetables and fruits. In addition, I look for various dietary supplements. He also enjoys rock climbing. She loves swinging on the door handle, balancing on a chair or climbing a table or cupboard. She's always in a hurry. Being in one place for more than a minute is unstoppable for him. He had to move quickly to another room, jump or pound something - he banged a beautiful map at home in the apartment on the wall in the room. He is only willing to spend a few minutes at a fairy tale about a little mole or cars. In fact, he needs constant change, and he is only able to accept a change known to him, so it must be a stereotypical change. And above all, no surprises, because unknown things or people are afraid. He's nervous right now and screams if he or his mom isn't close. He usually did not like visiting, so we do not go anywhere. The restaurant does not have enough space to run and also can not eat with his hands, so we eat only at home. My son has no circle of friends and most of my friends don't come to us too much anymore.
I drive him to a special school every day, trying to understand his world. His sister also goes to school, but to the classic. Radovan originally went there too, but after some time he was expelled. He hid the teacher in the kitchen on the cupboard. He crawled there probably because the noise coming from the floor bothered him. He was still running, too. But the special school is absolutely satisfactory. Every day we go there all over Prague. He likes our daily travel. She likes to ride in the car. We have that in common, I also like roadtrips. After her son's expulsion from the nursery and the visit of a child psychiatrist, her mother collapsed nervously. Because of this she was treated in the spa. Upon arrival, she thought about giving Radovan away. But I did not like this variant. We were arguing forever, and we couldn't agree what to do anyway. My wife wanted to put him in an institution, but I didn't agree with it again, so Radovan and I finally went to a small apartment near his new kindergarten. Once, in an unguarded moment, he was playing with my printer, which had impressed him so much that he had apparently decided to domesticate her just as the Little Prince tame the fox. I remember seeing my son, who was smiling mischievously. The other gaze was directed at what it was actually smiling at. And then I immediately understood. He gave the smile to the printer he was pulling on the cable on the ground. Now I don't really know what I first caught. Whether that crackling sound or his smile. Hard to say.
Soon after our departure from my wife, I found Radovan - a personal assistant. I had to figure out when I would be with him and when I would work. Suddenly his aunts were no longer around him, but he could only get used to one face. At that time I gave Radovan prescription pills, which apparently did not like at all. His traditional expression was enriched with an expression similar to that of licking sour lemon. Gradually I exchanged them for others. Thanks to them the heavy congestion finally gave way and Rada started to smile again. He is no longer afraid when he is in the shower. Another progress is that they will not wake up at night, and it sleeps all alone in its room. The assistant taught him a lot of things - going to the toilet, flushing, closing the door, cleaning toys at bedtime, or eating alone at the table. Today he knows him perfectly and usually knows what he wants, even if he can't say it. He also understands what he wants, but sometimes he doesn't listen much. He is also more creative and likes to try new and new methods to achieve his own. The assistant is very strong. Especially I do not understand her enormous power when Rada is furious, bites her left hand or throws herself to the ground. I sometimes get a little panic, but with the icy Lenka, we can do it successfully. It is obvious that he likes her a lot, obviously her calmness, combined with the firmness of his help. When he is close to him, he is much milder. Mom doesn't take her home, but she sees her nurse quite regularly, especially when I bring her back every other weekend. We live there as his sister goes to school, so we're all quite close to each other. My daughter is great. It seems to me that Radovan is beginning to understand her a bit. Especially when throwing a balloon together. They seem to understand each other on a completely different, and hidden to me, level.
At the moment the son goes to special school. Because of that, I was at the SPC (Special Educational Center), where they told me that they would need another assistant - an "assistant teacher" - at a regular school. There are more children like him at Radovan's school. As far as I know, the teacher is incredibly nice to them and gives children the necessary space for their own self-realization, which is the most important thing about autism. Understanding and love.
